Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Window Between Realities
Your garage roof has moss covering it. Your gutters need cleaning. Your tomatoes are blighted. Your lawn needs mowing. Your patio looks like you painted perfect florescent green squares all over it. You wonder if your brain is the same...little boxes of useless information sectioned off by green fungus. Your stomach is growling looking at the grill standing in the back yard...out of gas. Your cat's litter box needs cleaning...the dust bunny hiding under the bed look like your cat. You thawed out hot dogs last night...they are still in the microwave. You stare into the corner of the living room and watch the walls crumble...the outside air rushes in. You pull the comforter up further around your head...hiding from the reality. The drapes on the open window billow like a straining sail...it is cold outside. Your world is falling apart...and it is time to wake up.
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How did you know!?!
ReplyDeleteNo really, this is the 2nd person post you talked about in class, huh? I don't think there is anyway to write 2nd person and not get accusatory. I think the subject matter of the post gets a special little push from second person though. Winter always comes too quick for people who still need to nail their gutter back up (me)or people who need to weather proof their living room windows (you).
I am with this all the way. Only words I could feel it could live without: "reality" and "world falling apart" because everything else suggests that so well. Often 2nd person feels distanced and cold. It does here in a way, but it also feels hesitant. That's it: hesitancy. Somehow think about the ellipses too. They can dilute. What about colons? Dashes? Little sharper? Little more painful? Thanks for this glimpse.
ReplyDeleteI think that Second Person can definitely avoid an accusatory tone, but I think that's what you're going for here. I think it would be easy to turn the second person form into a means of encouragement by simply having a positive message. But I think you're right Duane, the more things start to crumble, the more daunting they become, and the more you'd like to just go back to bed and forget about them, or at least I do anyway.
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate the 2nd person style in this entry because this is the way I write in my journal most of the time. It helps when I'm trying to figure things out to separate myself from what I'm writing about (which is mainly me when I write in the journal.)
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